Published on: Monday, May 10, 2010

By Brian J. Karem

Two of the most disgusting crimes to affect the Montgomery County area in recent memory surfaced this week.

At first it's hard to muster anything more than a "Gee, really," when contemplating them.

Horrifying crimes seem as rampant these days as Tiger Woods stories.

Yet, upon further reflection, both crimes need to be examined for a variety of reasons.

In the case of the death of principal Brian Betts, it is the spectacle of his sexual orientation that seems to have driven the compassion from the hearts of some.

"You know I heard he was gay," someone said to be in the grocery story the other day.

"Well, that explains it," I said.

"You're rude," I was told.

I bit my tongue a bit, because those who know me are aware of the fact that filter between what I think and what I say is a very thin membrane which has a tendency to break under the slightest provocation.

I almost said, "And you're an idiot," but I refrained.

I merely nodded and left.

The facts are disturbing however when you consider them. Three local D.C. area teenagers arrested and charged with killing Betts - who may have solicited them on a sex chat line.

The preliminary evidence seems to indicate the three had contact with the dead man, but relatives claim the charges are fictitious.

Whatever the case here, Betts remains dead and some seem to want to dismiss the violence of the crime and his death - chalking it up to Betts being a gay man and soliciting young men on a chat line.

This excuses nothing. It matters little if he had been soliciting for goats that he wished to pursue romantically. He didn't deserve to die for it.

Which brings me to the next story on the menu; the death of a Virginia co-ed and the former Landon lacrosse player accused of killing her.

I've heard many who dismiss this crime with a shrug of the shoulders and the trite, "Well, it was probably an accident. He didn't mean to kill her."

In fact the young man apparently is going to try and use that as a defense, if published reports are accurate.

Good luck with that.

Maybe the young man didn't mean to kill her. Does that matter? Can we dismiss such violence so lightly?

The short answer is no.

Kicking a door in and beating someone to death isn't acceptable, nor is it excusable.

There is currently much rending of hair and gnashing of teeth going on in this young man's family - of that I have no doubt.

What mother wants her child to be behind bars for any extended length of time.

Both the victim and the accused were college seniors that were weeks away from graduation and the beginning of their life.

Now, both lives are effectively over.

Let's not, however, dismiss this as an accident. Let's forgive, yes, but let us not forget.

And let us strive to, once again, teach a little sanity that can be brought into everyone's life.

An accident? Does this comfort the family of the dead girl? Will this bring her back?

We all know the answer to that is a resounding no. And while I don't fathom throwing away this young man's life, the stakes can be no higher for him.

He faces losing everything he ever wanted and everything he ever dreamed because he is accused of taking those same things away from someone he apparently cared for very deeply - at least for a while.

This question, this issue is central to our core as human beings. How do we punish those who take away that which is most precious - our life?

How do we do it when it may have been an accident? Does it matter when violence is involved?

Whatever is decided in these two, very public cases, there are a few things that need to be remembered: a. Your sexual orientation doesn't excuse those who kill you. B. If you are accused of beating someone to death, it seems ludicrous to claim that the death was an accident.

But that's just me.