Published on: Wednesday, September 09, 2009

By Brian J. Karem

Well, the D.C. area is pretty low. In fact it used to be a swamp, but hey, I’m not going there. Don’t bring out the G-man in me.

It’s just that I was feeling a little depressed the other day.

Well, quite depressed. It’s as if my plea had fallen on deaf ears.

It’s a simple plea; quit running over pedestrians in Montgomery County.

It goes unnoticed. It goes unheard.

In fact yesterday as I crossed the street in front of the courthouse I was nearly eliminated from the planet Earth.

Again, this is something a few people I know would pay to witness – in fact I could probably make a healthy buck off of it should I decide to sell my demise to the Christian Coalition and the Maryland Progressives, but I digress.

What in fact occurred was simply a matter of an ignorant driver proceeding under the false assumption that he/she (I won’t specify gender because I don’t want to add to that ugly debate) has an unimpeded right to every square inch of pavement ever produced by man from antiquity through eternity.

I had the flashing walk sign and a local attorney and I proceeded to cross the street. That’s when a driver in a black convertible drove right up to us, honked the horn, stopped by squealing the tires and began screaming at us.

“Get out of the road,” the driver yelled.

“What?” I said with my usual aplomb.

“Get out of the road. You’re not supposed to block traffic,” the driver continued to yell.

“What the heck do you think I’m trying to do?” I said. I don’t think I said, “heck” though.

As the two of us continued to cross the street the driver shook their fist at us and continued on about whatever business you can conduct from a black convertible while driving like a blathering idiot.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me and probably won’t be the last, but I certainly hope it never ends with a “splat” as someone turns me into road kill.

What I now realize is there must be some effort to educate drivers on the importance of being Earnest. Just kidding. How about the importance of not running over pedestrians who have the right of way?

I like that idea.

In fact I’d like to see an advertising campaign using some of that wonderful speed cam and red light cam money I detest so much. The city of Rockville could put it to use in a fashion that I can stomach.

County drivers are woefully ignorant – in at least two languages – of the rights of pedestrians. A vigorous public service campaign stressing pedestrian safety should be played on the internet at county and city websites, on television during the local news, on webcasts and in local theaters. That should be a great way to start.

For the love of all that is holy, can we just stop running down pedestrians?

On the flip side, can we also provide better pedestrian traffic ways? In the city of Rockville there’s a lovely little strobe light near city hall that reminds people pedestrians are crossing. The darn thing even talks to you.

Great idea, but I’m concerned it doesn’t go far enough. Loud flashing sirens, larger strobe lights and a guard rail are needed because drivers just don’t care or are too busy on their cell phones or eating or combing their hair or doing whatever else it is they do rather than drive, to pay any attention to pedestrians.

Elsewhere in the county you still don’t have pedestrian crossways or paths or any type of signal to let drivers know pedestrians are in traffic.

God bless the souls that are brave enough to cross the Great Seneca Highway. It reminds me of that old video game “Frogger”.

I for one don’t have the temerity to try and cross that ribbon of death.

I barely have the stomach for crossing Jefferson Street at the Courthouse.

For one, I don’t have a death wish. And I also don’t have a need or a want to be screamed at because I wish to cross the street when I have the right of way.If I want to get yelled at for no reason I can always call my mother on the phone. At least she has the good sense to berate me for something I’ve conceivably done wrong.