Friday, May 24, 2013 5:50 AM
Published on: Monday, September 10, 2012
By Montgomery Marty
Marty has beef with the Redskins
Here we are, kids, on the doorstep of another Redskins season with plenty of hope and hype. But even though Subway is the “official training restaurant” of our fancy Maserati at quarterback, RGIII, there is no beef, no substance to your 2012 Washington Redskins.
That numbskull P.A. announcer at FedEx Field can growl all he wants. But where the Redskins are concerned, there is no there there.
This is an empty team, boys and girls, exactly what you should expect of a team that has an $18 million disadvantage on the salary cap. It’s a pretty good front seven on defense. Other than that, this team is a mess.
Your Washington Redskins have a horrendous secondary, a terrible receiving corps (the Frenchman Pierre Garcon is no No. 1, just ask Peyton Manning), a bunch of No. 3s masquerading in the backfield, and absolutely the worst offensive line in professional, tackle football.
The Big Burgundy and Gold is strapped in for another season of humiliation. There’s no way around it gang. Imagine how painful it’s gonna be to see the Skins go 4-12 and watch the St. Louis Rams sell the No. 1 pick (which they got from the Skins) to the highest bidder. Oh woe is Marty.
On the flip side, the Big Buckin’ Bronco went 15-3 last week, a solid start to his prognostication preoccupation. So when Sunday comes, remember to drink early and often, because it’s gonna take some foreign substances for Skins fans to get through 2012. And, as always, Marty advises, stay thirsty my friends.
N.W 33, Seneca Valley 31
After five straight Seneca Valley wins by a combined 130-27, this rivalry ain’t what it used to be. But Marty reckons it’s time for the Jagulars to go back to the future. Marty is thrilled to say that this is finally a great matchup again. On Friday, two guys from the Al Thomas/Terry Changuris coaching tree go at it. At Northwest, Dave Neubeiser has restored the tradition. At Seneca, Fred Kim has maintained it. Marty reckons the time is now for the Jagulars. By the time you read this, the Big Mike man will be on the top row, 50-yard-line, stogey between his lips, and a pinch between his cheek and gum.
Churchill 28, Whitman 7
It’s one of Marty’s favorite rivalries. The Potomac 90210 Bowl, the BMW Championship, the Mega-Median Income Classic, the annual war for the Waterford Crystal Football. When these teams get together, watch out, especially in the stands, where the moms with cosmetic surgery out-number those who haven’t had work. Maybe this one should be moved to Halloween. Yikes!
Damascus 26, Watkins Mill 8
How about the Swarmin’ Ones last week! They up and scored three return touchdowns – one on an interception, one on a punt, and one on a fumble – all in the first quarter, turnin’ their neighborhood rivalry game with Clarksburg into such a laugher that Marty and his boys were already at Lu and Joe’s by halftime. The Big Sound and Fury reckons this week at The Mill, the stampede to J.J. Muldoon’s won’t happen until the third quarter gun.
Einstein 37, Wheaton 7
Ladies and gentlemen of the electorate, one last reminder about Wheaton coach Ernie Williams: He killed Bin Laden and he saved GM! Come together brothers and sisters, it’s time to make our voices heard. Four more years! Four more years! Four more years!
Wootton 20, Kennedy 8
Hoping to replicate the success of the Washington Nationals, Wootton officials are urging fans to demonstrate their “Patitude” Friday night.
Quince Orchard 43, Blair 8
Here’s a little peek into the ways of the Seer, Sage, and Soothsayer. Whenever Marty sees a complete mismatch, he refers to his default blowout score, 43-8. If you look back through the annals (be careful how you pronounce that) of the Big High and Mighty, you will see an inordinate number of predictions of 43-8. That is Marty’s hint to his fellow sharps to take the action, lay the lumber, double up, bet the over, and make your reservations for Atlantic City to celebrate.
G-burg 20, Springbrook 14
Trojans two-way lineman Tinashe Gwashavanhu begged out of last week’s win over Richard Montgomery, claiming he was “defrydrated.”
Sherwood 27, Blake 14
On this week’s episode of “Hard Knocks,” in a meeting his office, Sherwood coach Mike Bonavia tells flashy running back Elijah Spottswood: “The guys that last in this business are the guys who fly straight, low-key, quiet. But the guys who want it all, the chicas, the champagne, the flash, they don’t last.”
Paint Branch 20, Magruder 3
How about Magruder kicker Nick Gruber last week! He up and booted three field goals, includin’ the game winner in the fourth quarter, givin’ Zadok Nation reason to celebrate in a 9-7 victory over Walter Johnson. That was old-school football, kids, just like Montgomery County circa 1970 when 75 percent of the points came via the three-pointer, a lost art these days, Marty is sad to say.
Clarksburg 14, W.J. 12
This has nothing to do with Clarksburg-WJ. Marty just wants it down in print that his favorite baseball player is Yonder Alonzo.
R.M. 43, Poolesville 8
Marty’s fantasy team this week includes RM running back Jess Brent, and the following athletes who need no introduction – Natalie Gulbis, Paula Creamer, and all 125 smiling members of the Ladies Asian Golf Tour.
Linganore 33, B-CC 14
In practice this week, to acclimate the Barons to rural Frederick County, B-CC coach Rich Noland is playin’ the soundtrack from the movie “Deliverance.”
Northwood 22, Rockville 12
When coach Dennis Harris cuts the third string long snapper in this week’s edition of “Hard Knocks, Northwood,” this is how the conversation goes. Snapper: “Thanks coach, appreciate the opportunity.” Coach: “Appreciate your effort.” Snapper: “Appreciate the appreciation.” Coach: “Appreciate the appreciation of the appreciation.” Snapper: “Appreciate it.” Coach: “Appreciate you coming up.”
Good Counsel 33, St. Joseph Regional (N.J.) 17
In the Patriot Classic at the Naval Academy, this is one of two games that match New Jersey private school powers against counterparts from Maryland. The other is Gilman vs. Don Bosco. Marty hears that St. Joseph Regional of Newark has a nice aerial combo in Spencer Aukamp and Ricky Jeune and that the Green Knights are ranked No. 3 in New Jersey. But let’s get one thing straight, boys and girls, this is Maryland. Colleges from New Jersey come to the Free State to find their players, not the other way around.