Published on: Wednesday, November 23, 2011

By Rob Maher

This past Saturday morning I met a pro wrestling legend.  Saturday night I performed stand-up comedy in front of 100 naked people.  It was a Saturday unlike any other and a day I’ll never forget.  Allow me to explain….

Comedy has taken me a lot of places in this world and allowed to meet some interesting and amazing people.  I’ve performed in 15 countries including Japan, Italy and Afghanistan.  I’ve seen the Giza Pyramids in Egypt, the Azores Islands in Portugal and the leaning tower of Pisa.  I once rode a camel and flew in a Black Hawk Helicopter all in the same day.  I preferred the helicopter.  The smell is much nicer.  I’ve performed with everyone from Lewis Black to Rerun from “What’s Happening.” Lewis was funnier but Rerun was the better dancer.  All he did was his dance and then take questions from the audience.  The first question was, “Do you have any jokes?”  It’s the experiences you have and the people you meet that makes me love what I do.  This past Saturday was a perfect example.

My day started with 98 Rock TV.  I am a regular guest on Baltimore’s 98 Rock.  They’ve started doing a TV show, 98 Rock TV, that will be seen in the middle of the night on some channel that I am sure no one gets.  I was there to warm up the audience and then be a guest on the show.  The guest on right before me was Pro Wrestling royalty, Nikolai Volkoff.  If you watched Pro Wresting in the 70’s and 80’s then you know who I am talking about.  Volkoff was part of a famous tag team with the Iron Sheik.  Volkoff was from the much hated Soviet Union.  Before each match he would demand the entire crowd rise as he sang the Russian national anthem.  He would belt it out as the crowd booed mercilessly.  It was classic WWF shtick.  It was awesome.  

Nikolai is 65 years old now.  He lives outside Baltimore and still wrestles from time to time.  I expected him to be the stereotypical aging wrestler, beat down and barely hanging on.  I expected him to be the Russian version of Mickey Rourke’s character in “The Wrestler.”  I could not have been more wrong.  He was a picture of health.  He’s been a vegetarian for the last 15 years and drinks nothing but water.  He’s anti medicine and pro natural healing.  I told him about my acid reflux issues.  In his thick Russian accent he told me that Tums is stupid and that all I had to do was drink a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before each meal.  Yes sir!  If you are 65 years old and you can beat me up I will take your health advice.  I grew up booing this man on TV every Saturday morning but now, on this Saturday morning, he’s curing my acid reflux and teaching me the words to his beloved anthem.  What a wonderful world.

Paw Paw, West Virginia.  Ever been there?  Well that’s where I spent my Saturday night.  I performed comedy at a nudist resort.  No need to imagine the audience naked, just look at them.  I sometimes take a gig just for the story. This was one of those times.  I debated performing naked and then I looked at myself naked in the mirror and thought better of it.  I have to admit it takes a little while to get over that initial, “Oh my, everyone’s naked, like really naked” moment.  The weirdest part for me was eating in front of all naked people.  They say you eat with your eyes first.  Well my eyes just lost my appetite.  I ordered a cranberry and vodka but quickly realized that wasn’t going to get the job done.  It was crown royal on the rocks for the rest of the night. The show starts and they were as awesome a crowd as they were nude, totally.  They were there to have a good time and that’s all a comic asks for.  The show ended and they gave me a standing ovation.  It was the first time in my career I preferred a sitting ovation.  Fast forward 5 crown royals later and there I am completely naked demanding my new friends to show respect as I sang the Russian national anthem.  God bless America.

I can’t wait to see what next Saturday holds.  Until then, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.