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Okay, who put the acid in the water supply?

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Published on: Tuesday, December 06, 2011

By Brian J. Karem

I am convinced, now more than ever, the number of people in this world who’ve taken acid is far more than previously reported.

I’m also convinced that LSD does, in fact, cause chromosomal damage and that those who took acid in the 60s and 70s have passed that damage on to their children.

How else do you account for the sheer lunacy, the waves of vast and militant stupidity overwhelming society and threatening to choke the life out of us all?

For example, look no further than the poor nine-year-old boy suspended from school for two days. Accused of “sexual harassment,” he told a friend of his that a teacher was cute. He was overheard by some politically correct moron of a substitute teacher and suspended.

Sexual harassment? Did the nine-year-old tell the teacher she’d lose her job if she didn’t accept the fact he thought her cute? Did he threaten her pension?

After I spit up my cornflakes reading this insanity, I turned quickly to Herman Cain who admitted that he quoted “Pokemon” during his aborted presidential campaign. One can only imagine what would happen if he were actually elected President. Who would be his top advisers? Other cartoon characters? Wiley Coyote perhaps as Secretary of Defense? How about Foghorn Leghorn as Secretary of State? Maybe Bugs Bunny as vice-president and Donald Duck could be his brain trust.

Not to be outdone in the lunacy and hallucination department, Fox Business News says the Muppets are “communists.” Really? The Muppets? Communists? The last time I looked the freaking Muppets were… fictional characters made from cloth! Earth to Fox News: The Muppets don’t really exist! They are puppets – much like Fox News, I might add.

Still need more examples of hallucinogens in the water supply?

The Transportation Security Administration.

There you go. I don’t need to say anything else. The TSA is a punch line for just about anything you wish to say.

However, I will add that two senior-citizens were recently strip-searched for reasons that confound and confuse those of us who still have blood flowing through our frontal lobes.

First an 85-year-old grandmother from Long Island was recently en route to Florida when she was moved to a private room and forced to remove her clothes by TSA officials. She asked to be patted down rather than go through a body scanner because she feared it would interfere with her defibrillator.

“I walk with a walker – I really look like a terrorist,” she sarcastically told a reporter.

Yep, I’m sure under the profiles of known and suspected terrorists, an 85-year-old grandma from Long Island using a walker and sporting a defibrillator is high on the list of potential terrorists.

Are we freaking insane?

Well, yes, I suppose we are.

TSA officials – and I use this term very lightly because most of these people act like they took a high school equivalency test and failed – also strip-searched another old lady recently.

Maybe they like aging cougars.

Sorry, but the stupidity doesn’t stop there. TSA agents recently also stopped a 17-year-old in Florida because she had a handgun design on the front of her handbag. The design, on the outside of the handbag is too small to be real, but TSA officials say since it is a “replica weapon,” she had to give it up or check it in her baggage.

Wait. “Replica weapon,” is a rule made in case someone brings a copy of a weapon onto an airline and threatens people with it. Unable to tell the difference between a real weapon and the replica, a terrorist thus could hold travelers and crew hostage.

A leather, one-sided imprint of a hand gun about the third of the size of a real gun wouldn’t fool anyone. What would she do? Pick up her purse and threaten to “apply lipstick at leather gun point if you don’t divert to Cuba?”

For the love of God, someone stop taking the acid. I guess the 17-year-old should at least be thankful she wasn’t 85-years-old and in a walker. The TSA might have strip-searched her.

Reader Comments - 2 Total

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Posted By: BS Detector On: 12/8/2011

Title: Not the LSD, the Happy Pills

This sounds a lot more like people on Prozac, Zoloft, Welbutrin, Lyrica and/or Zanax.
Just say NO to drugs and don't forget to take your happy pills everyday.

Posted By: Steve from Rockville On: 12/6/2011

Title: Acid in water supply

Hello. You bring up some good points - It is too harsh to suspend a 9 year old boy for sexual harrassment for whispering that a teacher is "cute."
For other points - I am not so sure.
Herman Cain was a legitimate contender. He was just joking about "Pokemon." I don't think his comment gives strong evidence for mental illness.
Also, as much as I hate being searched in the airport - it is a necessity.
Terrorists can use innocent looking people to carry out their deeds of terror, whether or not they consented to the deed. Some evil terrorist could strap an innocent looking old lady with a bomb or even to a detonator. I am not sure how it's done, but the point is that it can be done and it's the dirty job of TSA to make sure we don't bring terror to our country. We rely on them to be as thorough as possible, even if it is uncomfortable.
One last comment: We'll always have the crazies. Most people are a little crazy. A few are completely crazy. You just have to figure out how to live with them.


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