I confess! The President is Right! Featured

13177504 10208239653381425 6201117303528567999 n“For the most part, all they do is complain. ... These are really, really dishonest people and they're bad people and I really think they don't like our country. I really believe that."
- President Donald Trump speaking about the media during a Phoenix Rally.

Well I guess the jig is up folks. I am going to be the first to turn in my secret Liberal/Jewish/Muslim media cabal decoder ring. The president has found us out.
If it hadn’t been for Trump, we might’ve gotten away with it, but he proved too much for us.

Now that I’ve been caught, I intend to make a full confession. I can’t speak for anyone else and wouldn’t ever try to, but for me I feel pretty good finally getting this weight off my shoulders. I hope the cabal lets me come back on pot luck nights though. That’s some good cooking.
For many years I’ve been covering spot news, murders, political rallies, wars, riots, local, state and federal government, and it was all part of the Hillary/Obama plan to show hatred for America.
I was indoctrinated early. I covered state and county fairs. I once hopped on the back of a hog and tried to ride him for a story; I interviewed homeless people living under a highway overpass; I covered high school football games and covered local music and comedy scenes. I was told to do this because it was news, but later I found out it was all a secret code – that was part of the Soros/Obama/Hillary plan even before anyone ever knew who they were. We were all dishonest. We didn’t care at all about the country we covered. We just wanted to complain.
After all, we should’ve kept a stiff upper lip and all that. Murders? We were complaining. What’s a few murders? Every community has them. Crooked politicians? We were just complaining about those who got caught stealing from the voters or those who sold out to rich developers.
From those early ventures, I went on to cover civil rights marches, gay pride parades, helped catch some killers – including a serial killer – when I worked for America’s Most Wanted. But the whole time I was working against the country and complaining while I did it.
I was really dishonest. I once told the country a serial killer named Kenneth Allen McDuff was loose and murdering young women. He got caught three days later because someone saw my story on television – but I just wanted to complain. After all, what’s a serial killer or two among the billions of people on the planet?
I just couldn’t shut up about it.
The biggest fraud I ever pulled was when I went to jail. I had a confidential source in a murder case and told everyone I was going to keep from divulging the source because of my First Amendment rights.
But secretly I was working against the country the whole time. I figured a few weeks behind bars scrubbing nicotine stains off the ceiling and eating nothing but oranges was really a great way to lose weight and at the same time I could stir up an insurrection against freedom loving people everywhere.
Same thing when I went to cover the Gulf War. I recorded a lot of greetings from service members who wanted to say hello to their families back home. I traveled with the 41st Combat Support Hospital and risked my life to get to the front on several occasions. I drove into a tank battle and met General McMaster when he still had hair. Did you know it was me who made him go bald? Why do you think he always looks so dour?Mcmaster
Now the truth can be told. I was trying to undermine the country and complain about it all at the same time.
I never thought anyone would figure out the mainstream media’s dishonest agenda. I got so used to working inside that I forgot there was anything wrong.
Sure I heard the cries – like when convicted felons got upset when we put their faces on television – or when a politician got upset when we exposed a political stance as baloney or even when we caught them doing something dishonest or illegal.
We fooled a lot of people into thinking we did it for the good of the country, but the whole time we weren’t getting away with anything. Donald Trump was watching the whole time. His all-seeing eye found us out.
And I want to personally thank him for pointing it out. And now that I’ve drank the Kool-Aid, I intend to convince my other brothers and sisters in the media how wrong we are.
It ain’t right unless it’s blessed by the Donald. Like he said, he doesn’t mind some bad news, but we take it too far. We go on witch hunts and expose crimes and are the court of last resort for the country because we actually hate it.
We haven’t been told yet what we really like, but we don’t care. We Hate it. Hate. Hate. Hate.

There hasn’t been an actual tornado, hurricane or bad storm in the United States in 50 years.

We hate beauty, and baseball, hotdogs, apple pie, vanilla ice cream and none of us like the Dallas Cowboys because they’re “‘Murica’s Team.” And do you know most of us hate the New England Patriots? That’s right. Why do you think you heard so much about them cheating to win Super Bowls? That’s us. Planned it from the get go.
And White Supremacists marching? That’s us. Most of those guys were really part of a rowing club having a picnic in Charlottesville in their Khakis and white polo shirts. Does that look like a bunch of protesters to you? Nope. We needed b-roll for our packages so we told them to march.
Hey, where do you think they got the idea to use Tiki Torches so they’d be so easily recognizable in the dark?
Us again. It looked good for lighting and we love visuals.
See how insidious we are?
Oh, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes and hail storms? Us again. We lie about them and use Hollywood special effects so we can convince the public the weather is going bad and that will help underscore our “Climate Change” narrative no one believes.
There hasn’t been an actual tornado, hurricane or bad storm in the United States in 50 years.
That’s right. If you want to believe Donald Trump is telling us the truth then you have to believe everything I just said is the confession of a member of the media cabal spilling his guts.
Of course, I could be pulling your leg and Donald Trump is one of the worst liars in the history of the United States – a man so disingenuous he doesn’t know how to tell the truth – a man so insecure he has to be the center of attention in every story – and a man so intent on dividing and conquering the nation that he’ll tell any lie and threaten anyone or any democratic institution or principle he has to in order to maintain his illusion of power.
You decide.


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