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All Hail Ra!


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Published on: Thursday, February 14, 2013

By Brian J. Karem

What can you say about a man who was a member of the Hitler Youth and protected men who abused little boys?

You can say, “Hi Pope!” At least you can until the end of the month. Then we can thankfully at last say goodbye to Pope Benedict the XVI.

Hard to say the first Pope in more than 600 years to resign will be missed and even harder to believe the church will embrace any significant changes to its taciturn and disastrous philosophy of burying its head in the sand and pretending the world is the same as it was during the Inquisition.

As the Catholic population of the world enters Lent, the time of sacrifice and penitence, many lay Catholics may be tempted to give up Catholicism as currently practiced and sanctioned by the old guys wearing red in Rome.

To briefly review; The Catholic Church has routinely protected pedophile priests, while it preaches against the “Godlessness” of homosexuality. It venerates Mother Mary while denying women the priesthood. It teaches “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” while it rails against other religions.

In short, the Catholic Church is filled with hypocrisy and most practicing Catholics know it. There are none so blind as those who fail to see the signs of moral inferiority.

Instead of prosecuting and purging the pedophiles from the priesthood, The Church has instead opted to install glass doors in the offices of its pastors, in the confessional areas and other vital areas were priests might be alone with small children. Meanwhile the church administration shuffles and hides the pedophiles behind other, closed doors.

Instead of allowing priests to marry women, we’re told priests are “Married to God,” which begs the question who takes out the garbage? Or, who left the toilet seat up?

Nuns are also supposed to be married to God, which isn’t so good for God because women never lose an argument with their spouse.

As for women being priests, this scares the gray beards more than anything else. The musty old men’s club in Rome would never be the same once women got involved. Women look better in the vestments, though one could argue the gentlemen look more feminine.

But seriously folks, the Catholic Church has crossed the line from the sublime to the ridiculous.

While one can make a very serious argument all religions have lost their relevance in the modern world, the Catholic Church goes out of its way every day to drive home the point.

A Paternal hierarchy based in Rome makes as much sense as having an aging monarch sitting on a throne and passing judgment on his or her subjects. It doesn’t work.

The Church had a chance to stray in the world of relevancy the last time smoke blew up the chimney in Rome, but the Cardinals opted for the former Joe Ratzinger (a comedic classic for a last name) who became Pope Benedict the XVI.

When I heard he would be Pope I misheard the last name and for some reason thought the old men had elected the actor who played Cliff Clavin on “Cheers” to serve as Pope. But old Cliffy (John Ratzenberger) turned out to be a better choice had they actually moved in that direction.

Instead the College of Cardinals opted to elect a man who held the title of Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith as their new Pope.

If you don’t recognize the title, perhaps you should know the title has changed. The new Pope was in charge of maintaining and defending the integrity of the faith in an office once called the Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition. It is the oldest Congregation established in 1542 by Pope Paul III and the office Ratzinger held was once called “The Grand Inquisitor.”

Yes sir. Our Pope. They called him Primus inter pares, or the first among equals, and he has been the most influential Cardinal in the church for years.

A conservative man, he has preached for the return to conservative values and has doused any hope of bringing the Church into the current century. While in office he has appointed other, similar thinking men to high posts in the Church. He has also preached Catholicism as a religion of not only faith, but reason.

Reasonably this is not exactly true.

Now reason dictates The Church should take a more proactive approach to the adherents of the faith or risk finally being flushed in the same manner as those who used to worship Ra.

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