Published on: Thursday, March 11, 2010

By Brian J. Karem

If the U.S. Congress passes health care reform, Rush Limbaugh swears he'll leave the country - - but not for good. Just to get health care.

Well, at least that's a step in the right direction. Let the pill-popping blow hard leave for whatever reason he wants. Can't we just make sure he doesn't come back?

Of course Limbaugh is just the latest in the so-called celebrity trend to swear they'll become ex-pats if they don't get what they want.

Alec Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, Susan Saradon, Heidi Klum and others promised to join the ranks of ex-pats if John McCain beat Obama or if George W. Bush beat Al Gore.

Unfortunately, all of these people actually stayed in the U.S.

I agree with Tom Petty. Give them all some place to go and quit jammin' me.

Honestly though, as I sit here contemplating the great weather and viewing the recent snow storms as if they occurred last year, rather than last month, I wish I could get a few local elected government officials to take the ex-pat stance.

This all has to do with the wonderful Speed Cam saga still unfolding in Montgomery County.

You remember those wonderful little instruments that record your speed and send you a friendly ticket in the mail?

Well, apparently after a few months most of the residents of the county figured out where these expensive little gadgets are and we have decided to drive our regular pace until we come close to the speed cams and then we slow down. Ergo, the speed cam revenue has been falling.

People, in short, are proving they're much like Pavlov's dog, and so are the politicians who are now knee-jerk reacting to the dwindling income.

Once a taxing entity gets used to a certain level of income, it hates to go back, and so now we face the concept of portable speed cams.

They'll sneak up on you because you'll never know where they are.

An area of the county, long thought to be safe to drive as you normally do, will suddenly be infested with speed cams, much like how a nest of deer ticks will infest your dog.

The bite is worse and much more expensive for the driver.

This is the county's idea of justice and my idea of a pain in the posterior region that any amount of health care won't be able to cover.

The nicest thing about the county and the city of Rockville griping about the dwindling income from their assortment of speed cameras is that it finally and succinctly shows us exactly what these speed cams are all about - money.

We were told in the beginning how much safer our driving experience would be, and we were quoted statistics at the drop of hat, romanced into believing an altruistic county and city government just wanted us all to be safer.

The speed cam companies pooh-poohed the notion of making a buck on us and supplied the governments with testimonials, letters, statistics and enough snake oil to make a circus barker blush.

Most of us, including our representatives bought the hokum and so we got stuck with an arbitrary tax that makes no sense, but lines the pockets of the companies who own the speed cam gear, and also pads the pockets of our local government.

The county and all cities involved in this horrifying exercise into taxation without representation (some would call it a taxing tyranny and I'd be hard pressed to disagree) should first renegotiate the contract with the multinational companies making millions of dollars nationwide on this slight of hand.

Then, like some states out west, I'd recommend we shelve the speed cams completely.

If you want a driving tax in the county, then pass a driving tax. Don't tell me you're going to make the world safer when all you really want is my money.

I'm glad to pitch in to help government. I don't want to help the private companies that get more from the speed cams than the government and I don't want someone trying to fool me into thinking my driving experience is any safer.

I'd say if I don't get what I want I'm tempted to leave the country, but gee, who really wants to run into Rush Limbaugh, Heidi Klum or Alec Baldwin? Seriously.