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Marty to enter therapy as his Swarmin’ Hornets go down to Urbana

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Published on: Monday, November 19, 2012

By Montgomery Marty

Marty is disgusted, disturbed, disgraced, distressed, disillusioned, dismayed, disgruntled, distraught, displeased, and discombobulated.

Chalk it up to a disaster, Damascus’ 24-23 loss to Urbana in the openin’ round of the playoffs. When a 7-3 team from Godforsaken Frederick County beats an undefeated powerhouse from Montgomery, it’s a sign of the Apocalypse. The Big Sound and Fury joins Swarmin’ Nation in wonderin’ where it all went wrong.

Seriously, kids, this loss has shaken Marty to the core. In the mornin’ the Big Mike Man sits at a picnic table at the closed down Jimmie Cone doin’ the crossword puzzle and sippin’ a cup of joe. In the afternoon he circles the track at the high school, imaginin’ players still at practice. In the evenin,’ Marty attends vigil services at Lu and Joe’s, hopin’ to wash away the pain.

He can’t eat. He can’t sleep. He can’t golf. He can barely get out of the rack to collect his disability checks. This Damascus thing has thrown the Big Green and Gold for a loop.

Marty feels it’s his duty to point out that since Dan Makosy left Damascus after the 2007 season, the Swarmin’ Hornets have gone 3-5 in the postseason, losin’ to lower seeded teams the last three years. In 2010, it was a 3-loss team from Wilde Lake that handed undefeated Damascus a 21-14 defeat. In 2011, Thomas Johnson, seeded No. 4, boar-hogged the Hornets 42-6.     

That’s not the D-Mass way, boys and girls, especially after Makosy won 15 of his last 17 playoff games, includin’ three state championships. Fans with a long memory will remember, however, that even Dan the Man struggled in the playoffs, losin’ five of his first seven before figurin’ it out.

It all clicked in for Makosy in year six when D-Mass rode Matt Reidy to the state championship. Will it finally click in for Eric Wallach?

Speakin’ of questionable choices, the Big Seer, Sage, and Soothsayer went 9-2 last week, bringin’ his season record to 137-47.

Seneca Valley 21

Urbana 20

Remember in the movie “Top Gun” when one of the pilots leans over to Maverick and says, “Gutsiest move I ever saw, man.” Well that’s what folks were sayin’ last weekend to Urbana Ryan Hines after he went all in, goin’ for two-point conversions each time the Hawks scored a touchdown. Urbana converted all three times and celebrated a 24-23 win on the home field of Damascus. A week later, Urbana (8-3) has a simillar challenge, travelin’ to Seneca Valley (9-1). The Screamin’ Eagles reckoned they were gonna get a second crack at D-Mass after losin’ to the Swarmin’ Hornets in week nine. But instead it will be the disciplined Hawks, who lost to Westminster, Walkersville, and Middletown, all by double-digit margins, but have won their last five. Seneca isn’t at its best. Quarterback Calvin Reighard got knocked silly at Watkins Mill in week 10 and didn’t the playoff opener, but came off the bench to direct the Screamin’ Eagles win over North Hagerstown. Seneca’s prime back, “The Hypehen,” James Jones-Williams has been slowed by a hamstring pull. But Marty figures that Fred Kim’s boys will be at full speed Friday night and that Urbana will try one too many two-point conversions. Go with Seneca Valley to advance to the state semifinals and carry the 3A flag for Montgomery County.

Quince Orchard 26

Northwest 14

Matty “The Gunslinger” Callahan is the hottest quarterback in North America and the Jagulars offense is in high gear. In last week’s surprisingly easy 34-7 win over Churchill Ol’ Matty riddled the Bulldogies for 24 completions in 32 attempts for 304 yards. The Big Buckin’ Bronco ain’t seen surgical precision like that since his daddy drove him through hooker-infested Baltimore one Sunday 50 years ago and we saw Johnny U. in his prime. There’s another reason to like Northwest in this region championship game between neighborhood rivals. Jagulars coach Mike Neubeiser coached at Quince Orchard and knows Dave Mencarini as well as anyone. But Marty reckons that none of that is gonna matter against the best defense in the state. No team has scored more than two touchdowns against the Cougars and the Big Mike Man says it won’t happen on Friday night. Mencarini’s boys are still steamed about last year’s perfection-spoilin’ state championship loss to Old Mill and are out to right the wrong.

Westminster 27

Sherwood 21

The Big Down and Dirty hates to go against any Montgomery County school, especially when the opponent is from dentist-deprived Carroll County. But Marty has seen the light on Westminster. He doubted the Owls in 2005 before they came to Seneca Valley and put 38 points up on the big, bold-proud Screamin’ Eagles. Well, seven years later coach Brad Wilson has another undefeated team and another stud at quarterback, Deryk Kern, who in a pass-happy offense has tossed an amazin’ 55 touchdowns, one short of the state single-season record set by Billy Cosh of Arundel in 2008. Deryk fired three last week in a no-doubt 51-7 win over Blake. This one is gonna be much closer, but Marty don’t see how Sherwood can contain an offense that has put up at least 35 in all 11 games this year. Mike Bonavia’s Stormin’ Warriors will try to minimize possessions and play keep away with runnin’ back Moses Vines, but that’s gonna be a tall task against a team that has won them all by at least 14 points, includin’ back-to-back wins over Urbana (35-21) and Linganore (49-14).

Good Counsel 37

DeMatha 30

In the WCAC championship game at Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium on Sunday, the Archbishop, Bob Milloy, goes for his fourth straight conference title, fifth straight win over DeMatha, and the prestigious title of Supreme Allied Commander of the Catholic Football Universe. It ain’t gonna be easy against the Johns of Hyattsville, who have been quickly rebuilt by second-year coach Elijah Brooks. The former DeMatha runnin’ back is so young that Milloy, who is in his 12th season at Good Counsel, used to game plan against Brooks as a player. The Archbishop didn’t have any luck against the DeMatha in those days, but the tide has turned in the favor of the Falcons. With DeMatha back on the rebound, however, this rivalry is back to being hot. Their regular season meetin,’ a 13-10 win by Good Counsel on Oct. 5, was evidence that the Johns are back. But on Sunday afternoon, the Big Mackerel Snapper figures that the Falcons will have too much power, experience, and Dorian O’Daniel for the Johns to handle. The Irishman is a power back who can take it the distance when he breaks into the open field, a player who probably reminds Ol’ Elijah of his former self.  

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