Friday, April 25, 2014 1:02 AM
Published on: Thursday, September 26, 2013
By Montgomery Marty
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the Big Mackerel Snapper can’t believe what’s goin’ on in the Washington Catholic Athletic Conference. Gonzaga beats Good Counsel. St. John’s almost beats DeMatha. McNamara is off to a 4-0 start. Even Bishop O’Connell is getting’ in the act, puttin’ up 40 or more on Paul VI, Bishop Ireton, and Archbishop Carroll.
What happened to the WCAC Marty used to know? The one that Good Counsel and DeMatha formerly dominated?
Did Roger Goodell become commissioner and install parity scheduling and a salary cap? Did the league put a mileage limit on the Archbishop of the Beltway, Bob Milloy? Did DeMatha cut off booster payments to recruits?
Whatever happened, the Big Altar Boy approves. The WCAC is no longer a two-team deal, which takes a little shine off this weekend’s DeMatha-Good Counsel game, but makes the league a lot more interestin’ to the Man, the Myth, the Legend.
Speakin’ of tough calls, Marty went 13-5 last week to bring his season record to 37-14.
The Big Buckin’ Bronco is frothin’ over this one, a coachin’ matchup of former stud linebackers who played for Mr. John Harvill at Gaithersburg. Back in the 1970s when his classmates were turnin’ on, tunin’ in and trippin’ out, Gaithersburg coach Kreg Kephart was a mobile, agile, hostile linebacker. Twenty years later, Northwest coach Dave Neubeiser was keepin’ up the tradition at Linebacker High. Friday night they meet at Gaithersburg guidin’ undefeated teams. This is gonna be a tough deal for Northwest after its victory over neighborhood rival Seneca Valley. But with Trojans’ speedster Solomon Vault on the mend, the Big Road Rage is gonna have to cast his lot with coach Neubeiser and the Mighty, Mighty Jagulars.
Damascus 23, Watkins Mill 7
Citing “sources,” ESPN’s Skip Bayless is reporting friction between Damascus coach Eric Wallich and quarterback Chase Williams.
Paint Branch 27, Churchill 14
In the Ernie Williams Bowl, the Big High and Mighty will go with the Panthers’ lethal aerial combination of Gaston Cooper-to-Javonn Curry.
Seneca Valley 27, B-CC 14
Orioles superstar Manny Machado disappointed to find out he only has a torn medial patella tendon, which voids a deal with Telemundo to market his rehab documentary “All in for the Grapefruit League.” In a related development, Machado’s father has cancelled meeting with Buck Schowalter to demand O’s scrap plans to run the read-option offense.
Quince Orchard 43
The Paul Lucas Bowl. These were just two of the many schools that the former rumbling,’ stumblin,’ bublin,’ linebacker/runnin’ back played for in an illustrious high school career marked by free agency, suspensions, expulsions, party crashin,’ restrainin’ orders, road rage, and occasional incarceration.
For the “long-term good of the player and to protect franchise,” Whitman announced that it will shut down do-it-all superstar Zac Morton.
On “Blake Talk Live” Monday night, coach Tom Nazzaro thanked the “dozens” of fans who make up Bengal Nation.
Rockville 36, Wheaton 26
Wheaton proud to announce that it is the first school in Montgomery County with a bilingual playbook.
Richard Montgomery 16
In this week’s gripping edition of Inside Sherwood Football, Chris Grier asks each of his players what it truly means to be “Stormin.’”
The Big Seer, Sage, and Soothsayer is thrilled to see Antonio Fields makin’ Montgomery Blair relevant in Montgomery County. Like Maverick in “Top Gun,” Ol’ Tony crashed and burned in his first assignment trying to replace Randy Trivers at Northwest, but he’s back on the sidelines determined to deliver the Blazers their first winnin’ season since the Roosevelt administration – Teddy.
Walter Johnson 14
The Big Dawsonville Resident is sad to report that “bait and ammo” no longer available at Poolesville concession stand.
In his days at five schools in the four years, there’s only one way the Big Attention Deficit Syndrome got through English class – Cliff’s Notes. And there’s only one way he can get through any game involvin’ Northwood – a 40 of Old English followed by heavy doses of morphine.
Before playin’ at the Northwest, D.C. school, Kennedy will visit the National Zoological Park for an exclusive viewing of the latest Giant Panda, Fling Poo.
Good Counsel 20
The Big Altar Boy hates to admit that his beloved Falcons don’t got no playmakers this year. Sure they got a bunch of studs on the line, but without guys who can catch it, throw it, and run it, you ain’t got no championship team, especially this year in the loaded WCAC. Meanwhile DeMatha is fully rebuilt in the third year of Elijah Brooks. The Johns have lost to the Falcons four straight times, but the Big Behemoth is gonna have to go with Wisconsin-bound playmakers Taiwan Deal and Chris Jones to deliver a long-awaited win to DeMatha.
John Carroll 7
The Big High and Mighty is happy to see Bullis on the rebound after its lopsided loss in week one to Gonzaga and former coach Aaron Brady. With IAC play loomin,’ Marty reckons that the Bulldogies will be the class of the league behind speedster Devonte Williams and stud lineman Justin Herron.
Chavez Charter 4
Chavez Charter has taken on the mantra of the man the school was named for, Mexican American civil rights leader Caesar Chavez. The Big Gringo hears that, loosely translated, “Si, se puede,” means “This plate is extremely hot.”
Annapolis Area Christian 8
The Big Reform School Grad misses the good old days when the Lax Coach, Rob Bordley, was runnin’ the show at Landon, usin’ the Delaware Wing T, and issuin’ leather helmets to Da Bears.