Marty cries in his beer over the Terps and loves Damascus
The Basso Profundo is back with a good cigar and Jimmie Cone ready to tackle the high school football season.
He and his new Labrador named “Covfefe” is thinking this might be one of the most exciting seasons of football in recent memory.
Nothing is more Bigly than high school football, so let’s get going with this week’s fun and frolics.
But before he does Marty wants to take the Redskins to task for dissing Captain Kirk Cousins. The Redskins ain’t never gonna be nuthin’ if they don’t start treating this young man like he’s something.
The Hawgs have one of the best quarterbacks in the league and they treat him like he’s playing semi-pro ball in Pittsburgh.
That stuff has to stop folks. Big Dan Snyder needs to grow up and invest in the future of his football team or the future will forget he ever existed.
The Big Dog wants to howl:
The Staggs picked a pretty easy foe to start out the season. It’ll be a tune up for real work to come later.
The Avalon Black Knights have struggled to be relevant for the last two years and have failed miserably. Marty sees no reason for that to change this year. Mediocrity - thy name is Avalon.
Well, okay there’s a lot of mediocrity out there, but there ain’t no way Avalon will beat the Staggs.
Watkins Mill 7
Blair has been steadily rebuilding and looking more dominating in the last few years. This year could be their break out year. Watkins Mill will be the first of many victims.
It’s the battle of the boat shoes. Only in this case the public transportation shoes will walk over the gnarly Bears of Landon.
Paint Branch 42
If the state championship were played in the first week of the season, Paint Branch would win every year for the last five. They always start out strong and then fade dramatically at the end of the season. Performance issues aside, this should be a walk in the cool autumn breeze for Paint Branch.
Rumor has it Wheaton will do better at RM than it ever did at Wheaton. Springbrook does worse wherever they play.
Quince Orchard 35
The Cougars at Quince Orchard will just reload and unload on B-CC who still thinks they’re playing lacrosse.
The Rockets made Marty a believer last year and he’s willing to bet his bucket of chicken they’ll cruise through Churchill. They may fight them on the beaches and in the villages, but Churchill loses this war to the Rockets.
They got a saying up by Clarksburg. Marty ain’t sure what it is because he doesn’t speak fluent Clarksburgian, but it has something to do with the meanness of the pale blue coyote. Best take heed.
Not since Ed Ashwell coached at Einstein have Einstein fans been this excited about a season. Call it hopeful and wishful at this point. Marty’s going with established Gaithersburg.
Mighty Marty is really upset he’s gonna miss his Jimmie Cone this week – having to travel to Blake where the closest nourishment is the bark off a tree. At least a running clock will let Marty get back to Damascus in time for some well-deserved ice cream.
Sherwood is a riddle wrapped inside a cypher inside an enigma. And that’s just their coaching staff. But seriously folks, Marty sees this Warrior team as one of the best in the county and will use its Jayvee squad in the second half to put in time while the varsity gets ready for a deep run in the playoffs. Magruder has a nice field, and Sherwood will love soiling it. Might as well get some use, Magruder will be lucky to make the end zone.
Seneca Valley 32
Of all the games played this week, Marty is sure this will be one of them - maybe.
Wootton is thin. Northwest Stout. Wootton is small. Northwest is big. Wootton is hyperactive. Northwest is a passing sledge hammer. This just doesn’t get better for the Patriots.
Walter Johnson 6
No truth to the rumor that at halftime the farmers from Poolesville will stage a weed pulling contest on the 50-yard line.
Pope Francis met with a member of the president’s staff this week. Anything is possible when great Catholic minds get together. Bullis is non-denominational - so there you go.
Good Counsel 35
The Archbishop has retired. Long live the Archbishop. New coach, new results - tough competition. Down goes Frasier.
G. Prep 17
Saw this Prep team in a scrimmage game this year.
This is the real deal.
- Bethesda-Chevy Chase defeats Severna Park to win boys soccer state title
- Quince Orchard Cougars defeat Northwest Jags, become 4A West regional champs
- Paint Branch comes up short against Howard in 4A North regional finals
- John Allan Furgeson sparks Damascus to 2A West regional championship victory over Walkersville
- WJ makes state record in cross country, MoCo runners sweep 4A individual titles