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Can an Unmarried, Childless Woman be Happy... Really?


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Published on: Wednesday, January 08, 2014

By Dr. Anita Naves, Special to The Sentinel

 Readers, I need your help with this one …A curious reader wanted to know based on majority of opinions, “Is it really possible to have a professional career as a single, childless individual, and be happy.  If age is a determining factor as to how to tackle this question, let’s include a few age ranges starting with 30- 45.  Well, here’s my take on this: The one magnificent part of life is having the ability to make choices.  This ability alone has its positives and its negatives, just like life in and of itself.  Life is wonderful, when you are alive, however, in order to thrive in life you have to share it with Mother Nature and her host of companions, including various weather temperaments, the animal kingdom, the plant kingdom, and all other vicious non-law abiding creatures, sometimes known as “people”, who may not desire to get along with “the peaceful law abiding citizens”.  However, life can be wonderful, when you are on a beautiful island, relaxing and staring at the clear blue water, sipping your choice of drink and indulging in your choice of edibles, versus figuring out how to put the pieces of your life back together after some devastating event.

What I also like about life, is not only having the ability to make choices at any moment, but to also be able to make changes to whatever it is one may not like about his or her life. With the exception of a few things, like race, sex, age, height, and DNA are non-negotiable.  Certainly, one may argue that there are accessible variables to aid in making changes to our height, age, or sex.  Yes, I too would agree, however, even with such variables, these are truths that cannot be erased from Mother Nature’s handiwork.  With this analogy…I believe that people can be happy based on making a conscience “choice” to be. We certainly have the power to create our own “happiness”, regardless of what others may think or feel.   I quote a religious proverb, “All things are possible to them that believe.”

Therefore, I say, that if one is content with his or her lifestyle, than there must be some level of happiness involved.  Yes, I know that life throws us some unexpected curveballs.  We plan, we dream, we set timelines, we hope, we wish, and we make blueprints for our lives at early stages of our lives, sometimes as early as adolescent years.  And, set out on our own personal journeys, inclusive of different paths, a variety of people, places and things.  We cross our fingers and hope that our dreams or plans we set in place for our lives, unfold and manifest in the grandest, most delightful way possible.   In my animated mind, it seem that at certain stages in our lives, Life with all of its splendor, steps in periodically to visit us, with check list in hand, to see how much we have accomplished regarding our dreams, hopes, visions, and wishes. It questions us and it challenges us …with such questions as “Did you get that dream job? Did you marry the love of your life? Did you travel around the world…etc?

These questions take us down memory lane, causing us to evaluate our choices, mishaps, and all misfortunes we have no control over.  Nevertheless, we are left with the pride of our accomplishments and fleeting memories of hopeful aspirations of past times.  But in spite of it all one can still chose to create and /or find pleasurable, serene, and workable ways and means that define one’ s happy place of contentment, at least until we chose “not to be happy.”

Ultimately, we can choose to “be happy” by thinking “happy thoughts”, which can possibly lead to “happy actions”. Therefore, anything is possible, including having a professional career, being single, unmarried, and childless. “Go Happy”!

Comments? Email Dr. Anita at ani842@netzero.net.

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